In Search Of Innocence

The idea of writing something couldn’t last long enough to wait for me to open the lid of my 6 year old laptop, which for some reason I still don’t want to abandon. If I can’t abandon this extremely slow gadget which is like a tortoise among millions of hares, maybe I shouldn’t abandon my thoughts either. Maybe I should give them the right place.

Today isn’t a day to put the pieces together, because they will reach their designated positions when they have to, and I guess I have no choice but to believe it. Perhaps that is what convinces me to move on. The concrete lane beside my house or society (whatever you call it, it’s definitely not home) lies amidst two huge buildings and can be nice and quiet at night. But it’s day now and the scorching sun burns my back and sweat drips down my forehead. I have to walk, as I have to get somewhere, though at the moment I cannot remember where. The drops of perspiration enter my eyes and make them itchy and uncomfortable. Removing my lenses would probably make me feel better, but I think I can endure more. To my disappointment, I can’t find my sunglasses as I grope for them in my hand-bag. I wish for some relief for the moment.

God hears my prayers and sends a light breeze which eases me for quite some time before turning it into a sandstorm (but I don’t stay in a desert!). I try to prevent my face and specially my eyes (remember my lenses?) from the yellow granules. In the midst of the entire blur, I can spot a shade. I don’t remember if it was here before. Nevertheless, it’s not the time to search for such trivial answers. I somehow manage to get to the place, remove my lenses and wear my glasses. I wonder if I’m stupid enough to be the only creature out in this haphazardly changing weather, speaking of which it starts raining now. The rain water is not that clean, but good enough to wash the sand from my hands and feet. I don’t know how long I wait for the rain to stop, but before I know it, I’m out again.

As I step out of the shade, the world outside seems to have changed again. The rain seems to have brought nature alive. The grass which wouldn’t have been taller than a few inches has grown almost to my height. The barren trees seem to be growing green leaves and multi-colored flowers. I can spot a rainbow…no, three of them! And mountains? When were there mountains in this place? A butterfly perches on my hand. I have never seen something so beautiful! I try to catch it but it flies away. I wish I had brought my camera to capture the rainbows. I couldn’t capture them properly when I went to Niagara. They don’t stay for long as expected, but I feel lucky that my eyes could witness this wonderful sight. I keep walking now. I think I’m getting late. The sun’s rays seem to be turning orange now.

I can hear something- a melody perhaps. I don’t want to know the source, as long as it comforts me through this journey, which I still don’t know is leading where. A growling sound in my stomach reminds me that I have not eaten anything for a long time. I can spot a small tea-stall not far away. As I near it, I see steaming tea in a vessel and few muffins beside it. But there isn’t a human soul around. The owner might have gone out for a break. I wait for some time, but my stomach gives away. Also, it would be injustice to the tea if I didn’t have it when it was hot! After leaving a generous amount of cash for the owner, I eat to my heart’s content. Truly, you realize the value of food only when you are hungry, just like you realize a person’s worth when he or she moves away from you. As I am lost in thoughts, biting on my last muffin, I feel a crack in my mouth and a piece of my tooth falls out on my hand, along with the pebble which caused the mishap. I spit out the rest of the muffin and examined for signs of bleeding in my mouth. Luckily it is just a small portion of my tooth which had fallen off. I have had enough of trips to dentists. I don’t want one more!

I continue my journey. It is dark now and I have to hurry. It is a rare sight to see the stars here. But today, there are lots of them. And, wait a minute, are they moving? They seem to be changing their positions! I’m glad that the moon is stable, but I’m getting distracted due to the stars. I can’t afford to get diverted now, as my destination seems to be nearing. I can see a house between two hills and there’s light inside. Finally, some living soul! I am eager to get there as the stars move faster. I try to turn my brisk stride to a jog but my legs don’t move. They don’t allow me to run! I keep struggling with them in vain. I have no choice but to walk.

Suddenly, something black swiftly runs across the street in front of me. Maybe it is a black cat. My natural instinct to believe what I’d call a popular ill omen makes me halt for a few seconds. But I gain my pace again. I look at my watch, which has been stopping every now and then since the time I’ve had it. It is going haywire! The hands of the watch are rotating very fast and that too in reverse direction. I don’t have time! I make another attempt to run, but I can’t. The melody which I heard earlier seems to have changed now. It has lost its peaceful touch. With the stars still moving violently, the million instruments playing somewhere, my watch shaking and my feet not cooperating, a blinding light flashes and I’m thrown off my bed.