Kidnapped to Retro Mode!!!

The phrase 'going retro' was used multiple times that day, but I never cared to ask what it meant! I just googled it up and I now understand why it was so apt.

I didn't ever imagine that a bike trip to revisit places which were a part of someone else's memories could be nostalgic for me. Maybe these are the trivial things which link human beings all over the world, because these are phases everyone goes through.

I was asked to guess, but I didn't want to. So, did it yield the intended results? Maybe I wouldn't be writing this piece of blog if it didn't. That evening is still fresh in my memory. I can smell the aura of calmness and feel the pure breeze on my face. When I close my eyes, I can play a video of the whole trip in my head.

Camp 1 involved the familiar line of trees on the roadside with their trunks painted in single stripes of maroon and white. With the orange and blue hue in the background dotted with the shadows of flying birds, I couldn't help but reminisce my college days. When I was deciding which college to attend for engineering, Bharatiya Vidyapeeth was also one among my options. Visiting the campus reminded me so strongly of Pilani. The roads, bicycles, trees, the ground, the cricket/football/basketball match, the canteen, students sitting with books on lawns and daydreaming...

Camp 2 was on top of a hill which showed me the city where I have been staying for the past year and half, all lighted up. But this wasn't all. The ancient walls of the Jain temple held me with another grip of nostalgia- of our sweet old Saraswati temple. The feeling of peace within me, the silent guilt of not making this precious gift of life worthwhile... I cannot help but remember one scene distinctly-a mother asking her child to offer money with his right hand and not his left. These are some habits which are best developed in the age of pure innocence and stay for our entire lives. They might be small and seemingly insignificant gestures to us now. However, I have realized lately that these gestures bring about some kind of control in our life. When we are out on our own, we feel that the world is waiting to embrace us and there are no boundaries to anything. While it is good to cross limits in certain aspects, I feel it shouldn't be globalized. There are still some boundaries to be maintained, some limits to be defined.

Camp 3 shot up to Level 9, giving me another breathtaking view of the entire city, this time with intermittent fireworks to accessorize the lighting. Somehow I felt that the entire evening was dedicated just to me. All we did on the 9th floor was chatting endlessly for hours over some snacks, unmindful of the couples and college gangs around us, who were as disinterested in us. I will go there again, but not with the same person to accompany me. Well, my former company knows what this means. That's where the suggestion came from!

I don't want to forget this day. It was a perfect amalgamation of emotions. Honestly, I didn't know that I'd enjoy being kidnapped!

Outside the Blue Window

I was introduced to the corporate world at a time when I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life. I went to an engineering college like everyone else did and then entered the software industry like everyone else did. I used to wonder why I would have to do what everyone else does, but never had the courage to revolt against…maybe I should say…myself.

It’s been a year and a half now and I see how much I have changed. I see the pros and cons of this ‘not so new’ life. One small walk from my office to home gives me glimpses of moments which so significantly define what I have now become. This short journey is an amalgamation of emotions and dreams.

As I step out of the building at 8 in the evening and feel the first few gusts of light wind against my face, it’s a relief. A relief from the artificial air I was breathing. My first gaze goes to the sky in search of the moon. I don’t know what it is about it that brings some calmness inside me. I feel like I could stare at it for hours together. Well, there are hardly any stars out there. I remember seeing stars in Aizawl or rather the way I love to call the place with its age-old name- the Lushai Hills. I never realized then how much I would miss watching the clouds sitting on hilltops from my school terrace. The best view in my memory is from my house- the crimson and yellow hue of the sun setting between two hills. God, I don’t know where I lost all of that!

Look how I got deviated from the main topic. When it comes to remembering the hills, I can go on and on about it. But for now, let’s get real. Yes, the moon. If I see it, my stare lingers on for a few moments and then I move on with the reflection of the neon lights on blue glass panes behind me. I suddenly realize the exhaustion the day’s work has brought over me. I look around and see a bit of myself everywhere- people with ID cards hanging around their necks, discussing about some seemingly serious matter. I see the same weariness on their faces.

As I descend towards the footpath, I wonder what I should be doing tonight. I do have the options- reading my novel, watching TV, browsing the internet, practicing guitar (I usually never go for this option, it is still lying as a showpiece in my room) etc. I wish my room-mate is home. I don’t like entering an empty house.

I have this habit of looking at my feet while walking (I have a notion that my feet are pretty, maybe that’s why!) and sometimes wonder if I wore the right sandals or shoes today. The cars and two wheelers are rushing past me. I see a few smokers sitting and chatting. Everyone else is in a hurry to go home at this time of the day. A few security guards are strolling around lazily. Another common sight is to see an old couple walking together, probably taking an after-dinner walk. They seem to be at peace with their lives. When am I going to get that? Then I tell myself- c’mon, it has just been a year and a half. You have a long way to go!

I have been living in this city since I joined this job and yet it seems unfamiliar to me in so many ways. Yes I managed to make few friends in office, but they are slowly moving away. Change is the ultimate truth of life. Everyone does it. Should I? My newly found best friends have already moved on. But where do I move to? What am I in search of?

I rush through my phonebook and search for someone to talk to. After browsing for a while, I realize that I have recently spoken to everyone worth speaking to. The same old questions like “what’s up” and “how are you” get boring after a while. It’s different if they are in the same city though. Just sitting with a friend over a cup of coffee with few words exchanged makes you feel better, and more importantly, doesn’t make you feel alone. You wouldn’t realize it if you have someone with you always. As the popular saying goes- “distance makes the heart fonder”, it’s the absence that signifies the vital role of a friend in your life.

I’m almost home, and as another two-wheeler passes by, I wonder if I’m going to get one of those for myself. My parents keep listing out the reasons why I shouldn’t get one. Will there be a day when I’ll actually do something out of instinct without even thinking what lies ahead? Or will I just keep dreaming about such a day. I know that getting a two-wheeler doesn’t quite fall in that category, but for me, at least that’s a start!

I’m home finally, and the big question of ‘what to do’ comes back. If the house isn’t empty, I don’t have much to think of. But if it is, what’s the fun of sitting in front of the Idiot Box without commenting about some funny ad or discussing about Hollywood movies (which by the way, I’m very poor at). What’s the fun of eating alone or opening the laptop and searching for few friends to come online, looking at the same old Orkut and Facebook. Maybe we live in a digital age, but true happiness comes from the life that surrounds you. Wherever you go, you yearn for it.

As I drop my purse and ID card on the table, a sudden feeling of emptiness grabs me from inside. I don’t know what I’m doing here, away from my family and friends. I stare at the guitar. My mind is too tired to gather enough determination to pick it up and pull the strings. Music, the only thing that stirs my soul is also not able to draw me towards itself. The question of ‘what to do’ is raised for the 3rd time and now I’m least bothered to think about it.

Sounds familiar? I know that this is pretty much the life of every software professional around me. Someone had once told me- “Why live the life someone has already lived? Try doing something new!” How many people have the guts to do something new? Don’t we love the money and the comforts we can buy with it? Well I guess I do. That’s why I’m still here. But I hate this emptiness which comes and goes. It kills me.

A Tribute to Aita(My Grandma)

The early morning radio, the smell of UE cream- this is what used to wake me when I was in Nagaon. Aita would be sitting in front of the dressing table (which I always fancied) and getting ready for the day. With the same set of mekhala chaddars I have seen her wearing since I know of and the red sindoor heavily decorating the centre parting of her hair accompanied by the huge red bindi on her forehead. Yes, that was the perfect morning for me. The morning I had seen for at least 12-15 years during my winter vacations.

It was a rare sight to see her inactive. She used to be walking around doing something or the other except when she was taking her afternoon nap. I used to wonder how anyone could work so much with a hot water bag tied to her waist. Her daily regime would comprise of cooking, monitoring work, shopping and of course, speaking at the top of her voice! I don’t think anyone could ever miss that.

She is the best cook in the world. She always had a stock of aachaar, laddoos and pithas ready for us. And she made sure we never ran out of them! I would see her sitting and instructing people to shape the laddoos round in the right manner.

Whenever I entered Nagaon, the feel of being there wouldn’t strike me until I entered her room- the tick-tock sound of the grandfather clock, the familiar aroma which I could sense around her and of course, the dressing table as I mentioned before. I had explored every nook and corner of it. Be it the assorted collection of cosmetics or supari and saunf, I knew it all.

As a kid, the most common ventures with her would be shopping in the vegetable market or visiting a wedding reception. She’d have a mouthful of paan, a leather purse in her hand, all set to go! I have never seen her let go of a single potato without a bargain. As for weddings, that used to be one treat for us! I, my brother and my cousins would get ready with full enthusiasm. I cannot forget how we cousins used to pack a handful of flavoured saunf in our handkerchiefs and come home very proudly displaying the amount each one got. I remember the fairy tales she used to tell me. Sometimes I’d keep her awake for hours at night just because I wanted to hear more.

I celebrated most of my first 13 birthdays in Nagaon. Her mouth never ceased to bless me or pray for me. I used to be her Rani Suna (Darling Queen). I always enjoyed the privilege of being the favorite grandchild because I was her first. The last time I sat with her in the courtyard this May, I remember her telling me how to make a simple lemon achar which cures digestion. Out of the many things she has told me, that is something I will never forget. In spite of being so sick in her last days, I would see her wearing a different design of gold jewellery. Every design was distinct. I couldn’t help admiring her taste. The piece of jewellery I have with me now and cherish having is my silver payal which she had given me few years back. It is just like her- simple yet beautiful.

It’s only while writing the above lines that I realize she is gone. I can’t believe that the familiar voice which used to welcome me to my hometown will no longer be there when I step inside that house. I can’t believe there actually exists an illness which forced her to lie in bed day and night. Today, I remember the times I argued with her. I hope she has forgiven me for all that I might have done to hurt her. Right now, I can only believe that she has gone to a better place…that God has put an end to all her sufferings and he is keeping her safe in his arms.

A TRANSLATION

You Don't Know

Translation of the song "Tu Jaane Na" from "Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani"(Never tried something like this before!)

I know not the reason

For the love dwelling in my heart

Only for you…

I cannot speak, I cannot show!

Untold words of affection,

Waiting to be poured,

Revealed through silent passageways

Of my eyes, and yet you don't know,

You don't know…

We met without meeting

And now, these miles separate us;

Why did you bring such mysteries?

Why did you let me dream?

You are the one

Residing in my eyes;

What was it? The magic of your words

Or the way you looked at me

That made you my heart's desire?

Being near, being my hope,

Being my feeling, you're still not mine!

What grudge can I hold

As these miles separate us

And you still don't know?

A thousand words in my dreams,

Never told them to you;

A stranger you are, and nothing more!

Giving yourself to someone else,

Look! You never became mine!

What regrets can I have

Even as my heart weeps,

Weaving hopeless dreams,

Driving myself to insanity?

I wonder why we met

Because now, these miles separate us

And you still don't know,

You don't know…

MUSIC-Is this just a five letter word for me?

I was as fascinated by the rising and falling of notes along with a few words here and there as any other kid would be. It started with 'baa baa black sheep' and ''twinkle twinkle little star'. You can't really call them songs, but they did introduce me to the world of melody, or for that matter any 4 year old child, other than those who are made to join music classes at an early age (my kids surely will!). I listen to the recordings of my and my bro's singing on tape and laugh to myself about the level of confidence with which i used to sing without even knowing what the lyrics meant. I didn't even pronounce them correctly! I made up words which I don't know made what sense to me but I enjoyed it nonetheless! I used to pester dad to buy cassettes of 'Maine Pyar Kiya' and 'Saajan' kinda movies and listen to them on and on.

But that wasn't the starting of my addiction to music. We had a small tape-recorder with a few cassettes, and that was it. When I went to high school, my perspective changed a lot. Music was something which suddenly became very important. I started linking songs with people or incidents. Yeah, that's how it began. Being a teenager isn't easy. You start becoming aware of many things which you didn't really care of as a kid (Isn't a teenager also a kid?I feel so now when I look back at myself!). My emotional instinct got stronger, and music gradually became my best companion. I needed it right after entering the house, while studying, while relaxing, I wish I had music in classes too! At least some background to make them a little more interesting.

Dad had to get me a music system finally. And it belonged to me! Nobody else was as interested. Fast songs, slow songs, loud while mom and dad weren't at home,not so loud otherwise! When I was at home, I had it on most of the time. Mom used to get pissed off at times, but I never paid much attention.

Today, when I'm sitting in office and breaking my head over a piece of code or trying to analyze a bug, there comes a point when I just can't go on with it and I need something to take my head off it for a moment. It's music. When a take a walk outside and it's drizzling lightly, I have a soft romantic song playing near my ears. It's a heavenly feeling. When I'm travelling to or from work and I see the busy world outside with worried faces, music secludes me from them and takes me to a land of my own- peaceful and serene with no worries. When I'm in a damn good mood, I listen to fast beat songs and celebrate! These are only a few moments I can describe. There are many many more. I enjoy slow music when I am alone or with a bunch of people who want to listen to it the way I do. It's so relaxing! And when it comes to fast ones, it's better to have a group of friends and sing or dance along.

People sometimes ask me what the most beautiful moment of my life is. I can think of only one thing. I was on my way for some tuition when I was in 11th standard. It was a chilly night with lovely breeze. I was walking and suddenly, my ears were stirred by the plucking of guitar strings. I hadn't heard such wonderful melody before. I wanted to stand and listen. It was a perfect combination, with the moon playing hide-and-seek with the clouds and the light wind blowing at my face. I had to hurry up as I was getting late. I wish I could stay.

I have been speaking a lot about music. The readers must be wondering if I have ever made efforts to learn something. I learnt the piano for a couple of months when I was in 6th standard(I can hardly recall anything now!), and then the basic chords of guitar from my bro(who, by the way is an excellent guitarist) and some Rabindra Sangeet from an aunty in my neighbourhood. Nothing really lasted, sometimes because I was lazy and when I wasn't, I had some other commitments to follow. I will blame only myself, though. I wish I had a little more will power to carry on what I love. But here I am, sitting on a chair the whole day long and staring at the computer screen, speaking to clients, etc.

Music is something which has built a relation with my soul, it has not come in my blood or as a legacy. I get goosebumps when I listen to a song which touches something deep inside me. People walk in and out of my life but music never found its way out. I don't think it ever will. I don't want it to. When I am lonely, all I have to do is feel my pockets for my iPod. And then, enjoy the company of my best friend. It never deserts me. It has been my favorite way to live life till date.

Trip To Niagara- Dedicated to You...MAA

All set and geared up for watching the Niagara Falls! I didn't sleep all night in fear of not waking up early. We had to be in 219 Quincy Ave before 6 a.m. We had everything ready- tiffins with variety of snacks, chips and biscuits flicked from office, water, camera. We reached before time. Our journey is something worth mentioning.

Bus 1 picked us and waited somewhere in Boston for about 20-30 mins. Then we were transferred to Bus 2 which broke down in the middle of a highway,2 hrs after starting. Our tour guide told us that another bus was coming from Boston. So you can guess how long we were supposed to wait. I don't remember how many hours passed by, but suddenly I felt the bus moving really really slow-like a tanga. Seemed like we were being towed away, but just a few inches. There was some murmur and excitement in the bus and we saw another bus coming to pick us. We assumed it to be Bus 3, but it was Bus 1 again! This was our temporary conveyance to a Mc D corner till Bus 3 arrived. An hour or two at Mc D, and finally we carried on with our real journey in Bus 3.

Photo sessions here and there-No, this one didn't come right, take another one! Right from 219 Quincy Ave till we reached Niagara and back to Windsor Gardens, the clicking never stopped. When it's time to take a snap, we usually wonder why we should take the pain to pose in front of the cam. But if we don't, we regret later. So it's better to capture these awesome moments as we encounter them. We don't know if we'll ever return.

We were supposed to go to 1000 islands first, but thanks to hopping in and out of buses 1,2 and 3, our plans got reversed. We reached Niagara. Lo and behold! There it was. I was amazed at its first sight. It was a huge mass of never ending water and white sprays with rainbows forming here and there. I looked at it and thought of the person who should have been here-Maa. The only thing I know about this falls is its name and that it is one of the biggest. Maa knows more than just that. I can paint a picture of her expression when she sees anything about Niagara on TV. I wonder what she'd feel if she actually went there. Will I be able to take her ever?

We took the Maid of the Mist ride. We were wearing blue raincoats and looked like cartoons. Yet we didn't miss a chance to click! We went a lot close to the falls till we had water spraying all over us. It was out of the world. Heavenly! I don't think I'm using the proper words to describe it, coz there aren't any. The falls has formed over thousands of years and is one of Nature's marvels.

The Maid of the Mist was followed by a walk up to the nearest point we could get to the falls. We took off our raincoats and allowed the sprays to moisten our faces and clothes. It was so refreshing! And of course, more pictures...

I bought whatever I thought would be the most fitting souvenir for Maa. The night view was enthralling, but in a different way. In the chill of the dark-blue, green,yellow and red lights flashed on the gigantic falls. Somehow reminded me of the rainbows formed during the daytime. All colors in VIBGYOR are fragments of one color- white. White- the color of Niagara.

Tired and cold, we crashed in our cozy hotel room. But we couldn't catch more than 3 hours of sleep. It was an early morning start to 1000 islands. We had an hour long boat ride. I didn't pay attention to the tour guide. I was enjoying the breeze and the view of the islands which didn't contain huge architectural monuments, but houses which were unique in some way of the other. There was a castle inside which I was dying to sent foot but couldn't. It's not because entry was restricted. These are the impositions of a packaged tour. It doesn't give us the freedom to explore on our own. Also, there was a house which was tilted at an angle and half immersed in water but never fell inside. The guide must have mentioned why, I was too busy wondering to listen.

We had a long drive back home. We were dead tired and waiting to get to our warm beds. We managed to catch the last train home. Missed the previous one by inches. If only the bus hadn't stopped to take some 'rest' in between. At least that's what our guide told us!

Niagara is a sight I'll never forget. You have to see it Maa...I'll make sure you will.

The Hard Way of Life - Just Move On...

There comes a moment in our life when we are forced to make a decision which our heart doesn't approve of. The battle between the heart and the mind is something familiar to every human. It has been going on for centuries now and will never end.

There is something called 'being practical'. What is it? We convince ourselves to be practical when we allow our mind to win. I don't think that is wrong. When we come to a point in our life to be able to distinguish between (a)what is good for us and (b)what is appealing but will not last long, we should be sensible enough to make the right choice. And I don't think I need to specify which one that is.

God I hate it when I face such a situation. There used to be a time when I listened to my heart and only my heart. Wow that sucked! It took me a really long time to realize how to say STOP AND THINK.

And now, that hour - when we learn to prepare ourselves for the decision we have taken. It is tough and we know that our life is going to change. But we also know that this is for our best. We need to make ourselves strong. How much ever we want to turn back, we should have the will power to move on.

The song below describes to a great extent in very simple words what our mental state would be in such a situation-

I BEGAN TO DRIFT AWAY

LISTENING TO THE SOUND OF FALLING RAIN

COULDN’T WAIT ANOTHER DAY

THERE WAS NO OTHER WAY

SAID MY GOODBYES AND NOW

THIS JOURNEY’S JUST BEGINNING

TIME TO MOVE ON AHEAD AND DRIVE

IT’S RAINING NOW,BUT I KNOW IT’S JUST A MATTER OF TIME

LET IT POUR,I’LL SOAK IT IN & I’M READY THIS TIME

IT’S SO UNREAL,YET I KNEW IT ALL ALONG

I BELIEVE YOU NOW, YOU DON’T HAVE TO SAY A THING

NO MORE TEARS TO CRY, NO MORE NEED TO LIE

RIGHT NOW I’M LEAVING FOR ME

SAID MY GOODBYES AND NOW

THIS JOURNEY’S JUST BEGINNING

TIME TO MOVE ON AHEAD AND DRIVE

IT’S RAINING NOW,BUT I KNOW IT’S JUST A MATTER OF TIME

LET IT POUR,I’LL SOAK IT IN & I’M READY THIS TIME

This song is by an Indian Band called Dream Out Loud. I love it.

Scarborough Fair/Canticle- Simon and Garfunkel

When i heard this song for the first time, i had a preconceived notion that i would not like it. Usually when you go ahead with something carrying this notion, the notion wins 99% of the time. This song beat that notion of mine. I will try to put into words what i actually felt when i heard it. But before that, let's have a look into what it really is about.

This song describes a young man asking his former lover to perform a serious of impossible tasks, like making him a shirt without a seam and washing it in a dry well. He says that he will take her back only if she can finish these tasks. Looks like she sure had made his life hell! ;-)

I don't know how many people who have heard the song have actually paid attention to few words which go on in the back ground. I was always curious about those but i could never figure out anything except these- "To fight for a cause they've long ago forgotten". I used to think this might relate to some kind of revolution or war. When i googled it up, my guess was right.

So the song isn't just Scarborough Fair. There is Canticle going on in the background. The latter describes a war scene. It is two songs sung simultaneously. It is upto the listeners to link them or not. You can imagine a soldier thinking about his ex-lover. Or you can just think that S&G used both to create melody of the highest order. If you ask me, it is the perfect combination of a beautiful story wrapped in a mystical world created by S&G's musical harmony.

When i heard it for the first time, i couln't help but drift away to a magical place where i could see lush green meadows and puffs of white clouds against the blue sky. You can call that my 'Happy Place'. In short, I felt peaceful. The music, the voices- they had an element of innocence in them.

I get the same feeling when i listen to it today. It is a song i can never get bored of. I don't know who originally wrote the song(s), I don't know how it was supposed to be sung. I just believe that S&G has presented it in the best possible manner. I do not think there is room for any improvement, because it is PERFECT.

Boston

Maybe i should have started blogging from the time i landed in Boston. I could have narrated my experiences from day 1. I dont know how 3 weeks just passed away. It's been a great stay so far. The weekdays fly and the weekends...well well...it was friday evening just a moment ago! :(

I always wanted to see U.S., but the turn of events suddenly prepared me for the fact that i wasnt going to come here at all. Still i took a chance and decided to give it one last shot. And it worked! So here i am!

Please dont ask me to explain what the above paragraph means, its just too long a story to type. But whatever it was, I sure did learn one thing. Nothing in life comes easy, and you realize the true worth of it when you earn it yourself. Someone had once told me that it is always better to be the second best, because that way, you always have some goal to achieve for which you have to try hard. The harder you try, whether you achieve your goal or not, you learn a lesson in every step.

I stay in a quiet and beautiful place called Windsor Gardens in Norwood. It is not far from Boston. It is a lovely place. I feel close to Mother Nature here. All that is hers has been nurtured and taken care of in the best possible manner. And if you come across a soul or two, they will always greet you with smiling faces.

I had two great weekends. You can check out the photos here (Exclusively for my Orkut friends!). The first one was a visit to M.I.T., Harvard and Quincy Market. I love the Harvard Memorial Hall. I still havent been able to figure out why 'U' is written as 'V' in all the M.I.T. buildings. The Silver girl in Quincy market was awesome. Even better was the guy playing drums with buckets, pots and pans. Such talent! The commuter railway and subway are truly convenient ways to travel. And the station is just 2 mins walk from my place.

The mission for the following weekend was the Boston Freedom Trail. We avoided the Duck Tour and chose to walk for over 2.5 miles, till our legs couldn't carry us. But i tell you, it was worth it! There were churches, graveyards and other important buildings. I do not know much about U.S. history, but it was a great experience. What I liked best was the USS Cassin Young- World War II destroyer. We reached the last stop of the trail late and missed the chance to climb the 294 steps of Bunker Hill Monument to view the city from up there.

This weekend was dedicated to shopping, cooking and singing. Not bad to relax once in a while! :) We are planning for Niagara next week. My mom is crazy about it. Hope I can take her there some day.

And the week starts again tomorrow. Hello Monday!

SECONDS, HOURS, MONTHS AND YEARS

Reverse footsteps on the yellow passageway,

Starry nights, walls antique;

Unforgettable was the blessed day

When benediction showered

Over lands dry and barren.

Exquisite and pure, that breeze of aroma,

Swaying the trees to music unvoiced;

Embrace for all, the good and the evil;

Oh so mesmerizing! Oh so heavenly!

A lonesome heart among the many,

Blossoming like a flower in glee,

Dancing with the swaying trees,

Ecstatic beyond skies of reach.

Change is truth, say the wise and the brave;

Why then, the battle? Why then, unrest?

Failing words attempt to narrate

A story long gone and withered away.

Ticking and nurturing, the hands of time,

Fragrant crumples in a corner unseen,

Pot pourri of frozen melody;

But the trees, they are swaying still;

Who stops the breeze? It is blowing still!

BLOTTED

Sweetest innocence, O gleeful eyes!

Blossom and face the sun;

Tranquil doves embellish the horizon

Enchanting the realm of beauty.

Purest of hearts, richest of souls-

A mask or a shield?

Blessed ignorance it was,

Or maybe the virtuous folly

Of truths unseen, of lands untrodden.

Dreams bow their heads

To kiss the blessed forehead

Of a spirit nomadic,

Drifting across sandy shores.

Storms fog the mystery

Of noisy vacuum;

Voices from the heart,

Pricked by a thorn

Of the rose that coloured it.

JUST A DEDICATION

I had joined Reflexis with a group of 14 other people. I never realized when they became such an integral part of my stay here. This poem is for them.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Few tunes of silent melody,

Humming along beats of destiny;

Few raindrops from above,

Nourishing every crop in sight

Bathe a bunch of dreamy souls-

Wisdom in those large eyes,

A helping hand for every being;

Scanty words conveying

Hushed desires, sober and calm.

Simplicity defined in itself,

Soft and tender, a musical voice;

Optimism filled in smiling eyes,

A word for a word is ready to rejoice.

A flicker of mischief in every word,

A teenage spark in adulthood;

To accompany, a contrary-

Attitude blended with ideas immense.

Idol of dedication, sincere and true,

Pacified steadiness alarming all;

Leading, the guide of all times-

Characterized by low volume on call.

A question mark, some do not show,

What's in that mind, I really don't know;

Innocent fear reflected in every move,

Yet never reluctant to try and groove.

Six feet and more, impossible to miss,

Always standing tall, be that or this!

Witty and smart, daring any quest,

With spirit lively, no limits and no rest.

Dormant they are, and yet a part

Of dreams we see, they are with us;

Together we sail along this ocean of fate

On the ship of life, with the mast of hope.

ENVY

Panting for breath, a mortal soul,

Torn apart in dilemma, noisy and cold;

The right thing to do, says a voice unseen,

Is to let it go, to be honoured in esteem;

Trust and faith are virtues immense,

Hold on to them with courage and sense.

What courage? What sense

When the heart cries out in innocence?

A color of life never seen before

Enters a land serene and pure;

Butterflies and flowers dance in joy,

Birds and trees forget to be coy;

Unnoticed is the spirit that was the light,

Now wandering alone like a stray kite;

To gather specks of the delight that surrounds,

Specks they are and nothing more!

The warmth of love cannot console

An envious heart, it has no goal;

All answers known, all facts told,

Yet questions swarm like honeybees bold;

Like a whirlpool swirls a stream of thoughts,

Perfection defined in a small man's world;

A feeling suppressed in the humble few,

A bitter pill for us to chew;

Deaf and dumb, a silent streak,

Present in the minds of the bold and the meek.

NOSTALGIA

I wrote this in Boston...nothing much to guess about!

-------------------------------------------------------

A phial of golden and silver memories

Poured into the ocean of time;

A sail of will, winds of hope,

The blue waves wash a barren shore.

Bathed in yellow, jocund green;

Beyond seas and lands, yellow remains;

A silver crescent brings tidings

Of mountains, valleys, deserts and rains.

Fireflies and nightingales whisper

With murmurs of a feeling divine;

The chill of the night bows to touch

Embalmed memoirs fortified by time.

Cotton soft petals brush against

Dreamy thoughts floating along;

What warmth in those promises!

What faith for the faithless!

AND THEN...

A few doves I see, with tidings great and small

Footsteps carry me past them

As I stretch out my longing hands

My gaze fixed on the sole one

And then the warmth touches my hands

The elixir of life, its blissful feel

A stroke on my lips I can never forget

The depth in those eyes, the innocence

A rainbow across the vastness of life

I carry the warmth and togetherness

Hope and belief kindling my heart

As I return to the doves.

THE CASSIOPEIA

A fluorescent glow in dark silence,

One patter or two moistening;

A lonesome breeze from far away

Gently sways the green;

Grey is the veil that seals the sky,

Jewel-studded it hides from me;

Rare is it, a noise below,

Or is it far above me?

A few footsteps now and then

Come and go at will.

Moments race far behind,

Bringing me the stars;

I gaze at the Cassiopeia,

My stare being not alone;

The chill of nocturnal driven away

With the warmth of an embrace;

Promising and true, it was life-

A look in the eyes so true;

The lamp of my journey it meant to be,

As a shudder hit my presence.

Yet again I stare at the glow,

Feeling the light, I smile;

The lamp is my partner still,

The soul that lit up my life

Is walking with me still.

SLUMBER

A graveyard so melancholic;

The air as still as tombstones

Guarding the village of the dead;

A glow emerging from one,

A face so kind, a smile so charming;

I held my hand out to him

To sense the warmth of his presence;

Those words of his were still the same,

As if he had never gone.

Footsteps led me far away,

Lonely woods I trotted in vain,

In search of something I didn’t know;

I met someone ready to help,

A trust so blind my heart denied,

He was the devil preparing to leap,

As a bunch of deer fell on the way;

Fleeing from the woods, I reached

A realm of peace and greenery.

A hand on my shoulder I felt;

The lady of life in red she was,

Leading me through all winding paths;

My saviour, my blood she was;

I walked with her, but suddenly,

A swirling gust of wind blew past,

A wisp of smoke and she was gone;

I cried and called out to the wind,

Hope hadn’t left my soul;

I fought the storm, I paved my way,

Till a glimpse of red caught my eye.

A flash of light hit my face,

My gaze unfolded to see

The fluttering of leaves at a distance,

Greeting me for a new start,

The real world had dawned.

WAITING

Hollow is the darkness there,

Still are the rocks, not a stir;

Footprints on grains of sand,

Ripples washing them away;

A silent melody surrounds,

The trace of time gone astray;

Yet, unstoppable it remains

In the blanket of vacuum;

The moon stares at its reflection

Blurred in the waters, yet shining;

A pair of feet moves on the shore;

Moonlight mirrored in that gaze

Searching for a parted pearl.

INNOCENCE

This poem is a tribute to the 18 magical years i spent in the lush green mountains of Aizawl. How I long to relive those days!

**************************************************************************************************************************

The morning sun slyly smiled,

Caressing my face with its first rays;

Peeping from behind the green mount,

It greeted me for a new start.

Twenty minutes of climb it was,

As the blanket of golden glow

Spread its beauty in this utopia-

Oh! Mother Nature and her exotism.

Life was awake! People of the hills

Embraced it with energy anew;

Toiling hands and feet at work,

But smiles around, not a care.

A divine child in his mother’s arms

Stood in white, as we prayed;

A melody of ages resounded,

Inciting the spirit of faith divine.

The lousy dragging of thousand feet,

The noises, the punishment severe;

The jumping and running around

With legs that never tired.

A thousand dreams in my longing eyes,

A never-ending desire to touch the sky,

Blessed ignorance, knowledge priceless,

A journey of a day to last a lifetime.

The dull yellow bricks welcomed me;

My shelter, my world it was,

Where tired yet comforting arms

Shielded me from the darkest days.

With companionship true and promising,

A voice filled with loving comfort;

A hand to pull me up, make me stand

When others had their backs turned.

Days of laughter and games

Vanished like the last rays of the sun;

My heart aches and calls out

To bring me back the days that are gone,

To bring me back my innocence.

NUMB

On her knees she fell,

Her face emptied of emotions;

A burden so heavy,

In her heart she carried;

Oblivious of the chaos

Surrounding her feeble body,

She stared into an abyss

With eyes void, lips speechless;

Thorns and pebbles prickled

Her toes when she walked;

Her blood-stained toes
Hurt no more;

A thousand questions

Weighed down her fatigued mind;

Her throat parched,

Yet nothing did she feel;

Her spirit mourned aloud,

But she was still, she was numb.

Well it has been a long time since i blogged. People keep asking me to do it, but the Lazy Devil inside me got the better of me! Anyways, now that I managed to overcome that, I'll just start off with a few of my old poems.